Understanding Grief

  • Grief is not predictable
We cannot time and plot our reactions. This type of approach makes us think that losses vary only insofar as different deaths may make us spend more or less time at a certain "stage". Such a theory belies our own individuality and the uniqueness of each particular loss.
  • Each of us has our own way we experience grief

For some of us, we may see grief as something we should deal with quickly - resuming our life as soon as we return to work, seemingly over our loss. Others are surprised by how long our grief lingers and how painful the process can be.

  • Grief is full of different tasks and processes

We not only have to cope with feelings but also accept the reality of the loss, redefine our beliefs now in the face of that loss, readjust to the daily realities of that loss, and decide the ways we will remember the person who died.

  • Grief is more than simply a set of feelings:

In a significant loss, every aspect of our life is now changed. We need to remember that grief is an uncertain and individual journey. However, a more realistic road map may make the journey with grief a little less frightening. 

  •  Allow your grief

No step is more important than this. Appreciate, accept, and allow your grief as a natural response to your loss. Let yourself feel your pain. Suppressed grief doesn't go away. Grief is a mix of many uncomfortable feelings. You may feel sad, angry, or filled with remorse, regret, or longing. All these feelings are natural.

  • Express your grief:

Empty out your feelings. Cry when you need to cry. Be angry when you feel angry. Don't pretend to be stoic. The more you express your pain, the more you free yourself from it.

  • Be patient with yourself:

Grief is a process that takes time. Healing from grief is not necessarily quick and easy, but it is possible. Trust that you can and will heal from your loss. The day will come when you can remember your loved one without pain.

  • Keep busy:

You cannot dwell on your sorrow or your loss every waking moment. In the first flush of grief, you may feel you cannot control the extent of your suffering. But with friends and activities, you can form a plan that can be a lifeline.

(Texting: Hospice Foundation of America) 

Understanding Grief and Death in Children and Adolescents

Children and adolescents  also mourn. However, they often treat their grief a little differntly than adults do. Although sometimes it may seem they handle it easier, that's not the case. They too need the necessary attention to deal with their pain of loss. Children and Adolescents often find comfort by being with their friends or they may find support in a peer-groups to deal with their grief and pain of loss. 

This booklet helps children with their feelings of grief and explains sensitively how the grandmother imagines the hereafter and how she can continue to be connected with her dear granddaughter. Author Sandra Ulrich, Illustrations Cécilia Ulrich. This project was supported by Roger Federer and advertised by Coop. Ideal for children between the ages of 6-11 years.

Knietzsche

This video explains death and dying to children in a very natural way.